Today I added sugar to my coffee. That in itself is nothing new. I've worked at kicking the sugar habit before with varying degrees of success, but I haven't bothered to worry about the evils of refined sweets this past year nor have I worried about anything as mundane as counting calories.
But today I starting thinking about how I wish I weren't always gorging myself on sugar. How I really do need to get serious about my health. How pretending that all is well isn't the same as everything actually being right and good.
And I found myself thinking, "If only I were on a reality television show. The constant scrutiny. Knowing that people were watching my every move. Being aware that they were drawing conclusions about me from each of my yawns, my meals, the incredible amounts of time I waste on Facebook."
"If I thought anyone were watching me as closely as they watch those people on TV, I'd stop adding sugar to my coffee for sure. It'd be a snap."
Yes, I thought, I need to live as though I’m being watched.
And suddenly it struck me. There's no need to pretend that someone's watching me.
No need to pretend any phantom watchers into existence because I am being observed closely on a daily basis. The model I provide for my daughter will not only form her impressions of me and set the basis for our relationship, but it will form her first impressions of her own early self.
Talk about motivation.