Whatcha Readin'? Wednesday: Bear Snores On

This review isn't finished per se, but I'm trying to push through this block of mine and just hit "Publish" whenever I've got something of length. Reader be warned. (I promise I'm working on my brain! It'll have complete thoughts, transferrable to keyboard, again someday...)

I love reading Bear Snores On to Uli. It's one of our "go-to" stories each evening as we prepare for bed. 

Bear Snores On 

written by Karma Wilson

illustrated by Jane Chapman

Perhaps, in part, I enjoy it because it reminds me of a classic from my childhood,  The Mitten. Both books have a similar premise: during a snow storm, a variety of animals seek shelter in the same [unlikely] place. The animal characters in Bear Snores On, rather than huddling (incredulously, yet delightfully as I remember it) in a mitten, come upon Bear hibernating in his cave and make themselves comfortable as they wait out the storm. Predictably, bear wakes up and discovers that he has guests.

It's not even so much the story (which is nice, but nothing new) that makes both Uli and I like this book. Fact of the matter is, it's fun to read aloud.  

Such enjoyable poetry! Go on, try the words above. Aloud.

Don't you love how it feels, those words tripping off your tongue?

We'll be readin' Bear Snores On every Wednesday (and Thursday, Friday, Saturday...) for quite some time, I do believe. I don't know if Wilson has other books. I should look into that.

Memory-Lane: 11-06-1992

My writer's block continues. As I wallow about in self pity, scribble notes on little pieces of paper, compile long lists of what I intend to write about someday, and ask myself why I can't suffer from a more interesting malady, please enjoy (or pretend to enjoy, please!) this list from my pre-Propson days.  


It first saw the light of day nearly 20 years ago. I have very little doubt it was crafted immediately after I'd finished one of L.M. Montgomery's novels.  

My First House

(for myself & a girlfriend or a husband)

A White Cottage  (similar to that one on 5th St, Silverton, OR)

• 2 stories
• attic
• front gate
• front porch
• 2-4 bedrooms
• kitchen
• living room
• laundry
• 2 bathrooms
• study
• double locks
• door chains
• balcony
• garden (with flowers!)
• optional: basement/celler [sic]
• optional: woodburning stove/fireplace

 Nice Furniture

• window seat
• many bookshelves
• wallpaper or light paint with stencils
• ceiling lights and fans
• gas appliances
• lots of windows
• rolltop desk
• piano
• good stereo
• dinette set
• coffe table
• old trunks
• nice beds
• tea set/dishes
• white wicker
• gazebo
• slipcovers
• many throw pillows
• nice photo books
• statues
• prints
• clocks
• candles/lanterns
• automan [sic]
• comfy chairs
• sheets and quilts
• classic books
• lace
• optional: skylights

 Color Scheme

• whites/creams
• greens
• yellows
• blues
• peaches
• gray (a touch)

 Me

• skirts
• catalogouges [sic]
• drawing
• cooking
• reading
• writing
• sewing
• old fashioned

 Animals

• 1-3 cats
• maybe a dog (medium sized)

Apparently I wanted to live in a  cute little cottage with a kitchen and bedrooms (how innovative of me!) in a dangerous neighborhood (chains and dead bolts/double locks?).


As for the skirts, pastels, throw pillows, and lace: I read this aloud to Justin. He said, "So, when you were a little girl you wanted to grow up to be a little old lady?"


I giggled at his comment, but the more I think about it... Yes. I do hope to grow up to be a little old lady.


But maybe I'll skip the white wicker furniture.

Writer's Block

Ever have so much to say that you can't say anything?

I don't know what else to do in these situations but to quote someone else.

With awareness, each of our daily acts takes on a new meaning, and we discover that we are more than machines, that our activities are not just mindless repetitions. We find that life is a miracle, the universe is a miracle, and we too are a miracle.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

The Sun My Heart (1988)

 

Whatcha Readin'? Wednesday

A tiny tot edition of Whatcha Readin'!

I found this fabulous book at a library sale:

Mole and the Baby Bird 

by Marjorie Newman

illustrated by Patrick Benson

It's not only adorable to look at but the book's message is important.

Summary: 

Little Mole discovers and successful cares for an abandoned baby bird. The admirable rescue turns sour when Mole decides that because he has grown to love the bird he will cage it to keep it near him. Eventually Mole realizes that the greatest love he can show to the bird is to set it free. 

He's mine because I love him!

Our world can be so very "I want what I want and I don't care if it's not really mine," especially when it comes to using or displacing those we consider Others (including--and perhaps especially--other species). Sometimes we act from a place of love, sometimes from a feeling of entitlement.

I don't pretend to have it all figured out (I struggle with several of my own "I want what I want"s) but Mole and the Baby Bird would be an appropriate way to begin to explore and discuss the subject with Uli. It successfully communicates the importance of thinking about the whole welfare of others, taking into consideration their spirit and their natures.

I love you, so I respect your nature

Maybe, you say, my impression of the story is too grand for one little 25 page picture book. (I am coming off of a recent Avatar viewing...). But no. No it's not. This is a great book. Perfectly interesting and attractive for the toddler being read to, thought provoking for the adult as she reads it aloud.

Parenting by Heart

"We know in our hears what our babies need; we feel what they want. Blessed by, and mindful of, advances in medicine, and wary of philosophies developed in the interest of convenience, we are determined to heed our strong instincts. We are even willing to suffer ourselves, if it means the best for our babies. We are mother lions, mother bears, and father tigers, too. We parent by heart."

~Elizabeth Pantly

This week went by in a blur. I've been working on posts (all still in drafts), re-reading an Ishiguro novel in preparation for my first visit to next month's (Oh-my-God-I'm-out-with-other-adult-women-being-all-intellectual!) book club, brainstorming about cooking and housekeeping (because, clearly, spending another three hours sweeping and vacuuming and steam mopping the downstairs only for there to still be animal fur everywhere [how is that even possible?!] is not the way I want to spend each Wednesday, home with my daughter), and trying to remember that I'm a wife as well as a mother and a housekeeper/dog-wrangler.

******************************************

Last week I read Pantly's The No-Cry Sleep Solution looking for a way to make our sleeping arrangements happier for all. Basically, I'm searching for a way to appease my husband (who'd like me to stop getting up in the middle of the night or at least be in our room by morning) but still attend to my daughter's nighttime parenting needs (versus letting her scream alone in the dark when she wakes).

I've been part time bedsharing with Uli since she was born. I usually nurse her to sleep in her room, I leave her sleeping and spend time with Justin for a few hours before we go to bed, fall asleep in my/our bed, then I wake up to Uli's cries and go into her room and spend the rest of the night (usually from around midnight on) in her bed. She sleeps on a full size mattress set on the floor (we skipped the entire crib deal in an attempt to provide her with a Montessori-like bedroom environment) so it's easy for me to crawl right in next to her. It's genuinely pleasant, being able to have a place for Mommy and Baby to snuggle up, nurse, and get some sleep (all at the same time!).

Pantly has suggestions to help end the request for night nursing, and I've been starting to try them. And it's not that they're difficult, but I've been struggling to remember that I'm supposed to be working on them. Thing is, it's so easy to nurse her in my sleep that I forget I'm supposed to be trying to night-wean. I'm well rested by morning and she's had a belly full of good milk and overall it's a happy situation. Except for poor Justin, all alone. So I'm trying. But it's easier said than done: sticking to a specific bedtime routine, staying awake while she's nursing, un-latching her before she's deeply asleep so she stops associating sucking with sleep, and then making sure she eats more calories during the day to make up for the fewer she'll be getting overnight.

Basically, it's more work and less sleep for me, this trying to wean her from her nighttime nursing, and less sleep makes me cranky. It's just kind of funny, getting less sleep now, with Uli at 15 months, than I'd been getting when she was younger.  I haven't been sleep deprived since she was a tiny little new thing, even though she has regularly woken 1 to 5 times each night in the past year to nurse. 

But, since I do want to work toward waking in the morning in my own bed, I figure that Pantly's suggestions are the route I want to go. I'm uncomfortable making Uli cry it out at this age (she is too young to be made to understand why her trusted parents wouldn't come to her when she's calling, alone and in the dark). Pantly's ideas (with worksheets to help mark your progress) are simple, seem to be effective (if the buzz in the blogosphere means anything) and, perhaps most of all, they are compassionate. You're working slowly and with your child to gently redirect and retrain their expectations about sleep rather than forcing them to scream until they don't have the ability to reach out to you any more.

So I'll be working off of less sleep for the next few weeks. Hopefully by the end, Uli will be sleeping through the night (or at least for 8 hours straight of the 10-12 she should be in bed) and I'll be spending more quality snooze time with the hubby. 

I've heard several times that I'm going about this the hard way, but so far it feels right. And what can I do but follow my heart?

Bedsharing with Uli, winter of 2008

Pink, Pink: you stink!

Pink: avoid it like the plague of anti-girl-power it may be or wrap yourself up in it's warm cuteness?

We've been boycotting the all-pink-all-the-time look for Uli. When we could find alternatives, that is (have you seen the girl's section in the stores? It's like the Energizer bunny exploded in there!

Our boycott started when I was pregnant. We'd decided to wait until the birth to learn the sex of the baby. And then we observed people* FREAKING OUT because they believed we shouldn't buy anything but "gender neutral" colors for the baby: anemic duckling yellow, been-too-long-in-the-fridge celery green, and new-apartment-white  items only. Apparently a boy's skin will burn if it touches pink and a girl wearing blue will always be assumed to be a boy (and thus forever endure emotional hardship? Or something?).

And because clearly women never wear blue or red or orange and men never wear pink or salmon or anything other than blue, thus neither should their babies.

Whatev. We were over it.

And then our boycott got serious. 

Because, you know, we began to worry about Uli getting sucked down the

[Girls Are] Sugar and Spice, Barbies are soooo pretty, I want ten plastic surgeries by the time I'm 23 to be sure I'm the best me I can look be, I wear pink because I'm soft and squishy and genteel and girlie and 'Who cares if I don't understand math 'cause I'm cute!'

rabbit hole.

But, OK. Really, what's up with the pink? Here we've been, hating on it, but, I mean, it's a color.
Of candy.
Of a fish.
Of flowers.
Also: the name of a rather fierce and fun pop star

And where would Floyd be without it?

So, yes, pink is a color.  "Just" a color.

But colors convey messages. Colors say something about their wearer. And at this time in this place of the world pink is for bunny ears, not for a smart, powerful, important-person.  Not even among the new fashionables of Washington. I didn't see any women wearing pink suits to the State of the Union last week. Red, yes. Purple, yes. Bright crazy yellow, yes. But no pink. [Edited to say:  okay. So there was that one woman (see the yellow link) in an all pink suit. But you think it looks weird, no? She sticks out like a sore thumb (i.e. not in a good way!)]

However, should the fact that others think so and such about something dictate our choices always? Of course not. I'm pro- cardigans, tie-dye, nose piercings, tattoos, and penny loafers (even if they're all on teh same person at the same time!). I've just got a thing about pink on little girls.

Pink, pink: I think! About all kinds of stuff. Like why are you always taking my picture?

Also, remember the evil professor lady from Harry Potter? She wore all pink all the time. And if being anti-her on principle isn't enough reason for you to avoid the color, ask yourself why she chose pink as her badge. Perhaps just because she liked it, but perhaps she wore it because she found her sneaky underhanded cruel sucker-punchy ways were well camouflaged by a cover of adorable soft pink. Pink screams, "Don't take me seriously";  she could womp on people without them seeing it coming. And then, when her victims cried Foul others wouldn't be certain who to believe. I mean, come on, she's dressed all in pink! You can't be serious and smart an evil and devious woman if you're wearing pink!


Anyway, as you may have gathered by the photo above, regardless of all our former/current concerns, Uli is now wearing pink. We recently received a generous box of hand-me-downs from a very kind and nearly total stranger. And, of course, being "girl clothes," all the items are pink.

And, honestly, I think I'm okay with it. I wear pink. Her daddy wears pink. Pink is nice. But I don't like that pink is so overwhelmingly the "girl" color. It should just be a color. For people. And for bunnies. It annoys me that if I am going to buy clothing for Uli I have to search to find something that's not pink. Let's get a little variety in here, designers! Girls like blue (and green and orange and black and crazy bright yellow) too!

Active, intelligent and good at math [and funny faces]

*Strangers. People at the stores. And a few co-workers. Our families, however, were totally cool and bought us both blue and pink things. THANK YOU!

I need a coffee [table] break

Such a happy girl! Bouncing, clapping, squealing.
She dances and then bends down, touches her toes, then stands up to reach for the sky.

Look at me! her laugh seems to say. She's so excited with her movements, her freedom, her abilities.

But Mommy says, "No!"

Mean Mommy.



It's just... she's on top of the coffee table! She loves it up there, but it's not okay to dance and prance atop of a table, right?

Right?

Or is this just another one of those "rules" that are there just because adults say they should be, but they don't really matter? A fall from the coffee table would hurt, sure. But I let her climb and dance on the sofa. And the chairs. And her little wooden stool. Falling from any of them would hurt too, but I'm willing to watch her and let her climb and perhaps even take a tumble now and again because it's all part of growing. So... why the issue with the coffee table? It's not like it's a nice piece of furniture (in fact, if she were to wear off its ugly crackled yellow/gold paint, I might like it better!) and it's sturdy. It can handle a one year old doing the macarena.

As a parent, I know (well... I've read) that I'm supposed to be setting limits for her so she doesn't feel out of control. And both Justin and I are helping her to learn that it's not okay to hit or bite, pull the cats' tails, nor stand up in the high chair and toss food down to the animals. But does it mean I have to tell her not to dance on the coffee table? I don't know.

I honestly don't care that she's up there. It's just... well, I don't dance on the coffee table. But does that mean I must tell her not to? She does a lot of things I don't do [anymore], and I do a lot of things she doesn't do [yet]. And that's okay.

Maybe I should cultivate my own dancing skills and stop worrying so much about my daughter's.

Tell me. Is it okay to dance on the coffee table? (Or just on the couch/chairs/stools/bed/floor?)

My Housework Homework

Does anyone else out there have difficulty maintaining their house (we're not even going to talk about sanity)? Or are you all June Cleavers?

I feel like it's a never-ending struggle. I want to be good at housekeeping, but I'm afraid I'm failing miserably.

I know. I have a toddler. And two dogs. And five cats. There's bound to be some sticky surfaces (out of the dogs' reach, that is;  otherwise, they take care of most spills!) and hair balls.

But it's not their messes that are the worst. It's we (us?) adults of the house. I'm a pile perfector ("No, no, don't move that! This is a pile of magazines I've read which have articles I want to keep, here's a pile for recyling, here's a pile for clothes that are too small, here's a pile of laundry to be washed...") and he's a handy hider ("This might be useful someday if all of civilization breaks down and we have to defend ourselves against bandits and make wind turbines and fix our own cars, so I'll store this thingamajig in the basement just in case...").

Together, we're unstoppable -ly messy.

I've been trying to change my ways this month. I've discovered that I can use the time I spend supervising Uli in the tub to handwash her diaper covers from that day (I wash them in the bathroom sink with a squirt of BioKleen and then hang them over the shower bar to dry overnight). And I've tried to remember to rinse all the dirty dishes as I'm putting them into the sink so that they're not difficult for Justin to wash-up later (we don't have an electric dishwasher).

But I still need to do more. I need to be more consistent with the deeper cleaning (I scrubbed the outsides of our kitchen cabinets last month for the first time... since I moved in!) and I need to get into a rhythm of mending (rather than piling clothing with holes into the corner of my room "for later") as well as continuing to rearrange the furniture in our house so it's more useful (I'm very pleased with my husband's use of the antique radio: rather than just being a place to pile things it's now a working stereo thanks to new speakers and the iPod dock cleverly stashed inside).

And I'm really really intrigued by the thought of putting together a Homemaking Binder. Have you heard of these? Do you use one? Tell me all about it! I'm getting ready to make one for myself and would love to hear personal experiences if you have any to share.