Mid-March Moment

March is a tomboy with tousled hair, a mischievous smile, 

mud on her shoes and a laugh in her voice.

                                                                                       
 -  Hal Borland

Through Green-Tinted Glasses: An Accidentally Earth-Friendly Childhood

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage green!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we're writing about being green — both how green we were when we were young and how green our kids are today. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants

My childhood has never stricken me as particularly green. Surrounded by verge, yes (I lived in the Pacific Northwest).  But Green as in Earth Conscience? Like the spotted-owl advocates? Nope. That wasn't my family's mission. However, for the purposes of this month’s natural parenting carnival, I've taken a contemplative nature hike down memory lane. And lo and behold:  you don’t even have to squint that much before you can indeed see the Green.

We weren't green in the solar panels, low VOC paint, free range eggs sort of way. We were green in a more traditional way. The way called Being Poor. When I showed up at birthday parties proffering small gifts wrapped in Sunday's funny papers it wasn't because I was being taught to reuse/recycle but because wrapping paper was a luxury we couldn't afford. I wore hand-me-downs, not because we were boycotting sweatshops but because they [kind of] fit and they were free. My toys came from garage sales, my books from the library. I did homework compositions on the backside of discarded dot-matrix printer paper my father would bring home from his office. Nowadays you can live like a queen while being green. But back when I was little we weren't trying to live it up, we were scraping on by. And though saving the environment may not have been our motivation, we were nevertheless being conservative with our limited resources and taking up a smaller footprint than other American families at the time.

I remember my mother regaling us with stories of my parents' first (and at that time: only) trip to Hawaii. The sun, the surf and, the part that affected us children the most, the food. She told us that it was there, in the lap of Pacific Island splendor, that she was first introduced to a decadent, exotic concoction:  chili served atop a bed of rice. A recipe she often recreated for us.  I may not have always been thrilled with a[nother] dinner of beans and rice, but I did enjoy the idea I was being served cuisine relished by the king and queen of Hawaii. It never once occurred to me that we were eating the dish not because my mother was training us to live as Hawaiian royalty but because beans and rice are an inexpensive, healthy meal (low on the food chain).  

I don't recall questioning why, rather than purchasing Kleenex, we young children were provided with "snoot rags" (old, thin cloth diapers). At the time it just kind of made sense. You'd use the snoot rag as you would an oversized handkerchief (this was back in the day when children still knew what a handkerchief was) blowing into and using up each section carefully until it could absorb no more, and then you'd toss it in the wash pile and get yourself a clean rag. Perfect sense. 

Even my family's reluctance to purchase over the counter medicine, though surely motivated by an empty pocketbook, ends up cast in a green light when you consider the alternatives we tried before taking a trip to the pharmacy. When we had colds we were encouraged to gargle with salt water (hated that!), sleep with a humidifier (comforting) and to drink hot water with lemon and honey (a treat!). As I remember it, it was only after that regimen that, if still ill, we were dosed with Robitussin. I have no doubt my body's immune system is better for it. 

Reconsidering my childhood through the lens of conservation and cleverness rather than of poverty, I find new inspiration. I can't do all my family's shopping at Whole Foods, but I can show my daughter how to plant and grow [at least some of] our own organic produce.  And if we cannot buy a hybrid vehicle so be it;  but let's maintain the cars we already have so they'll last. It's simple, the idea to reduce, recycle, reuse. But I'd kind of forgotten it, sitting in the shadow of the Buy Green message that's so prevalent nowadays. . . But I'm encouraged. If my childhood could be so green without even trying (indeed, without me even noticing!) then surely raising my daughter to be environmentally conscious won't be as difficult as I've feared.

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• My Momma Was a Hippie — Jessica at This is Worthwhile is continuing her Earth Momma mother’s way of honoring nature by taking her child outside every day. (@tisworthwhile)
• Mom Did Know Best, About Diapers at Least — Guavalicious at They Are So Cute When They Are Sleeping has a dirty secret about cloth diapers: They’re easy. (@guavalicious)
• The Force that Drives the Water Through the Rocks — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest remembers her first spiritual connection with nature, granted to her through her father’s care for the spirits of the earth.
• Confessions of a Cabbage Patch Kid — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned about landfills and recycling through gardening. (@kitchenwitch)
• Seeing My Grandmother Through Green Colored Lenses — Michelle at Seeking Mother was raised by a grandmother who wouldn’t let anyone throw out used clothing — ever — and who believed baths were water enough for two or more people at least. (@seekingmother)
• Through Green Tinted Glasses — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis realized her family didn’t so much choose green as it chose them, since not being green would have cost a lot more.
• Green or Die! — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing remembers berating her family for not turning off the faucets — and notes that her efforts to save the planet for another 20 years must have worked.
• Natural Parenting Carnival: Green Living — Sarah at Natural Parenting is doing more to make her children’s generation green than what she had as a child.
• Natural Parenting Carnival: Vintage Green — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start used to fill her own water bottles from a spring — before doing so was cool. (@pchanner)
• Getting Dirty — Molly at Molly’s Place is inspired by her mother’s camaraderie with nature. She’s going to get back in touch with the real food cycle, as opposed to the “shrink-wrapped nutrition” you can buy. (@KPMolly)
• My Vintage Green Raincoat — Mama at Maman A Droit is wearing her brother’s bright green raincoat — 16 years later! (@MamanADroit)
• Vintage Green — Darcel at Mahogany Way hasn’t realized it yet, but she is slowly turning into her parents.  (@MahoganyWayMama)
• Vintage Green — mrs green at littlegreenblog reminds us that children can be green simply by being kids. (@myzerowaste)
• March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage Green — Lauren at Hobo Mama was eco-chic before it was en vogue. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Growing Up Green — Chrystal at Happy Mothering honed her green instinct from an early age. (@HappyMothering)
• greener pastures — The Grumbles at Grumbles and Grunts has a list of ways she’s transitioning from green living as a novelty to green living as a lifestyle. (@thegrumbles)
• Vintage Green: The Hot Water Tank Is Not Sexy — Zoey at Good Goog had to go green when moss started growing around her feet. (@zoeyspeak)
• We Walked Softly — Starr at Earth Mama wrote a beautiful post about how her parents instilled a love of and respect for Earth and nature in her, and how she is passing that gift on to her own children.
• Save the Mermaids! — CurlyMonkey is learning from her daughter how to keep the mermaids happy. (@curlymonkey_)
• March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage Green — Dionna at Code Name: Mama sees glimpses of her mother’s greenness frugality in her own life – but she draws the line at pantyhose soap. (@CodeNameMama)
• I Thought I Made Them Green, But Really They Made Me — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! thought she made her parents green — until she took a closer look. (@bfmom)
• A Culture of Less — Alison at BluebirdMama explained why homebirth is the green childbirth choice. I love this thought! (@childbearing)
• 5 Ways to Embarrass Your Children While Going Green — Acacia at Be Present Mama shares some of the embarrassing things her parents did to her in the name of being eco-conscious.
• Ending Is Better than Mending? — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries is teaching us how to darn socks armed only with a light bulb. (@babydust)
• There and Back Again: A Green Girl’s Tale — Lactating Girl offers a gentle reminder that certain eco-conscious practices shouldn’t be “ideals,” but realities. (@LactatingGirl)

Crunchier Day by Day: Homemade Deodorant

Call me crazy (and some of you will, I know) but I think I just might be on to something here. I've just made my first batch of homemade deodorant. 

A big thank you to Lindsay at www.PassionateHomemaking.com for inspiring/educating me via this post of hers (watch her video. She seems very nice and watching her make the recipe helps you wrap your mind around the concept of making your own product). 

And... I know, I know. I've scoffed too. This is not the first time I've heard about people making their own deodorant. I've always thought "crazy wingnuts!" and let my prejudice/reliance on commercial products take over from there. But this time (again, her video is so cute!) I decided to make a go of it. Cornstarch and baking soda I already had. The jar of organic coconut oil cost me $6 and I used less than 1/4 of the jar for what may be 3 months (?) worth of product.  

Admittedly, I've been using less that a week--and it's only 30 degrees outside--but I think this stuff just might work!  Natural, inexpensive, and a fabulous conversation starter. ;-)

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. 

Or until you smell me. 

(Please tell me if you smell me! Or... don't. I'm happy not knowing, I guess.)

Whatcha Readin'? Wednesday: Bear Snores On

This review isn't finished per se, but I'm trying to push through this block of mine and just hit "Publish" whenever I've got something of length. Reader be warned. (I promise I'm working on my brain! It'll have complete thoughts, transferrable to keyboard, again someday...)

I love reading Bear Snores On to Uli. It's one of our "go-to" stories each evening as we prepare for bed. 

Bear Snores On 

written by Karma Wilson

illustrated by Jane Chapman

Perhaps, in part, I enjoy it because it reminds me of a classic from my childhood,  The Mitten. Both books have a similar premise: during a snow storm, a variety of animals seek shelter in the same [unlikely] place. The animal characters in Bear Snores On, rather than huddling (incredulously, yet delightfully as I remember it) in a mitten, come upon Bear hibernating in his cave and make themselves comfortable as they wait out the storm. Predictably, bear wakes up and discovers that he has guests.

It's not even so much the story (which is nice, but nothing new) that makes both Uli and I like this book. Fact of the matter is, it's fun to read aloud.  

Such enjoyable poetry! Go on, try the words above. Aloud.

Don't you love how it feels, those words tripping off your tongue?

We'll be readin' Bear Snores On every Wednesday (and Thursday, Friday, Saturday...) for quite some time, I do believe. I don't know if Wilson has other books. I should look into that.

Memory-Lane: 11-06-1992

My writer's block continues. As I wallow about in self pity, scribble notes on little pieces of paper, compile long lists of what I intend to write about someday, and ask myself why I can't suffer from a more interesting malady, please enjoy (or pretend to enjoy, please!) this list from my pre-Propson days.  


It first saw the light of day nearly 20 years ago. I have very little doubt it was crafted immediately after I'd finished one of L.M. Montgomery's novels.  

My First House

(for myself & a girlfriend or a husband)

A White Cottage  (similar to that one on 5th St, Silverton, OR)

• 2 stories
• attic
• front gate
• front porch
• 2-4 bedrooms
• kitchen
• living room
• laundry
• 2 bathrooms
• study
• double locks
• door chains
• balcony
• garden (with flowers!)
• optional: basement/celler [sic]
• optional: woodburning stove/fireplace

 Nice Furniture

• window seat
• many bookshelves
• wallpaper or light paint with stencils
• ceiling lights and fans
• gas appliances
• lots of windows
• rolltop desk
• piano
• good stereo
• dinette set
• coffe table
• old trunks
• nice beds
• tea set/dishes
• white wicker
• gazebo
• slipcovers
• many throw pillows
• nice photo books
• statues
• prints
• clocks
• candles/lanterns
• automan [sic]
• comfy chairs
• sheets and quilts
• classic books
• lace
• optional: skylights

 Color Scheme

• whites/creams
• greens
• yellows
• blues
• peaches
• gray (a touch)

 Me

• skirts
• catalogouges [sic]
• drawing
• cooking
• reading
• writing
• sewing
• old fashioned

 Animals

• 1-3 cats
• maybe a dog (medium sized)

Apparently I wanted to live in a  cute little cottage with a kitchen and bedrooms (how innovative of me!) in a dangerous neighborhood (chains and dead bolts/double locks?).


As for the skirts, pastels, throw pillows, and lace: I read this aloud to Justin. He said, "So, when you were a little girl you wanted to grow up to be a little old lady?"


I giggled at his comment, but the more I think about it... Yes. I do hope to grow up to be a little old lady.


But maybe I'll skip the white wicker furniture.

Writer's Block

Ever have so much to say that you can't say anything?

I don't know what else to do in these situations but to quote someone else.

With awareness, each of our daily acts takes on a new meaning, and we discover that we are more than machines, that our activities are not just mindless repetitions. We find that life is a miracle, the universe is a miracle, and we too are a miracle.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

The Sun My Heart (1988)

 

Whatcha Readin'? Wednesday

A tiny tot edition of Whatcha Readin'!

I found this fabulous book at a library sale:

Mole and the Baby Bird 

by Marjorie Newman

illustrated by Patrick Benson

It's not only adorable to look at but the book's message is important.

Summary: 

Little Mole discovers and successful cares for an abandoned baby bird. The admirable rescue turns sour when Mole decides that because he has grown to love the bird he will cage it to keep it near him. Eventually Mole realizes that the greatest love he can show to the bird is to set it free. 

He's mine because I love him!

Our world can be so very "I want what I want and I don't care if it's not really mine," especially when it comes to using or displacing those we consider Others (including--and perhaps especially--other species). Sometimes we act from a place of love, sometimes from a feeling of entitlement.

I don't pretend to have it all figured out (I struggle with several of my own "I want what I want"s) but Mole and the Baby Bird would be an appropriate way to begin to explore and discuss the subject with Uli. It successfully communicates the importance of thinking about the whole welfare of others, taking into consideration their spirit and their natures.

I love you, so I respect your nature

Maybe, you say, my impression of the story is too grand for one little 25 page picture book. (I am coming off of a recent Avatar viewing...). But no. No it's not. This is a great book. Perfectly interesting and attractive for the toddler being read to, thought provoking for the adult as she reads it aloud.

Parenting by Heart

"We know in our hears what our babies need; we feel what they want. Blessed by, and mindful of, advances in medicine, and wary of philosophies developed in the interest of convenience, we are determined to heed our strong instincts. We are even willing to suffer ourselves, if it means the best for our babies. We are mother lions, mother bears, and father tigers, too. We parent by heart."

~Elizabeth Pantly

This week went by in a blur. I've been working on posts (all still in drafts), re-reading an Ishiguro novel in preparation for my first visit to next month's (Oh-my-God-I'm-out-with-other-adult-women-being-all-intellectual!) book club, brainstorming about cooking and housekeeping (because, clearly, spending another three hours sweeping and vacuuming and steam mopping the downstairs only for there to still be animal fur everywhere [how is that even possible?!] is not the way I want to spend each Wednesday, home with my daughter), and trying to remember that I'm a wife as well as a mother and a housekeeper/dog-wrangler.

******************************************

Last week I read Pantly's The No-Cry Sleep Solution looking for a way to make our sleeping arrangements happier for all. Basically, I'm searching for a way to appease my husband (who'd like me to stop getting up in the middle of the night or at least be in our room by morning) but still attend to my daughter's nighttime parenting needs (versus letting her scream alone in the dark when she wakes).

I've been part time bedsharing with Uli since she was born. I usually nurse her to sleep in her room, I leave her sleeping and spend time with Justin for a few hours before we go to bed, fall asleep in my/our bed, then I wake up to Uli's cries and go into her room and spend the rest of the night (usually from around midnight on) in her bed. She sleeps on a full size mattress set on the floor (we skipped the entire crib deal in an attempt to provide her with a Montessori-like bedroom environment) so it's easy for me to crawl right in next to her. It's genuinely pleasant, being able to have a place for Mommy and Baby to snuggle up, nurse, and get some sleep (all at the same time!).

Pantly has suggestions to help end the request for night nursing, and I've been starting to try them. And it's not that they're difficult, but I've been struggling to remember that I'm supposed to be working on them. Thing is, it's so easy to nurse her in my sleep that I forget I'm supposed to be trying to night-wean. I'm well rested by morning and she's had a belly full of good milk and overall it's a happy situation. Except for poor Justin, all alone. So I'm trying. But it's easier said than done: sticking to a specific bedtime routine, staying awake while she's nursing, un-latching her before she's deeply asleep so she stops associating sucking with sleep, and then making sure she eats more calories during the day to make up for the fewer she'll be getting overnight.

Basically, it's more work and less sleep for me, this trying to wean her from her nighttime nursing, and less sleep makes me cranky. It's just kind of funny, getting less sleep now, with Uli at 15 months, than I'd been getting when she was younger.  I haven't been sleep deprived since she was a tiny little new thing, even though she has regularly woken 1 to 5 times each night in the past year to nurse. 

But, since I do want to work toward waking in the morning in my own bed, I figure that Pantly's suggestions are the route I want to go. I'm uncomfortable making Uli cry it out at this age (she is too young to be made to understand why her trusted parents wouldn't come to her when she's calling, alone and in the dark). Pantly's ideas (with worksheets to help mark your progress) are simple, seem to be effective (if the buzz in the blogosphere means anything) and, perhaps most of all, they are compassionate. You're working slowly and with your child to gently redirect and retrain their expectations about sleep rather than forcing them to scream until they don't have the ability to reach out to you any more.

So I'll be working off of less sleep for the next few weeks. Hopefully by the end, Uli will be sleeping through the night (or at least for 8 hours straight of the 10-12 she should be in bed) and I'll be spending more quality snooze time with the hubby. 

I've heard several times that I'm going about this the hard way, but so far it feels right. And what can I do but follow my heart?

Bedsharing with Uli, winter of 2008