Thursday, June 7, 2012

Dear Stupid Person in Your Stupid Car:

Today your blue station wagon continued on when you should have yielded me the right of way. I was on your RIGHT. It was an unmarked intersection. I got there first. I had the RIGHT of way. But you were driving parallel to the major road and just decided to be a jerk about it.

Last week your red sedan failed to yield me the right of way at the same intersection. It had looked like you were stopping and so I started to go but then you didn't and I had to slam on my brakes. I would have honked but your dog was hanging-out of the passenger window and I didn't want to scare her because I'm not a jerk like you.

Last month you in your black truck failed to signal before moving over two lanes of traffic. I wasn't in any danger because I was quite a ways behind you, but I saw you and it was irritating. It's not like you need to conserve blinker fluid or anything (it's cheap! They only charge me $5/refill each tuneup.)

Also, another time you parked in front of our house almost all Saturday morning, and I prefer that no one parks there. Park in the driveway of whomever you're visiting, they're presumably not going anywhere because you're visiting them.

And another thing, I don't like your after-market illegally tinted windows. They make it look like you're trying to look like Somebody you're not (because, let's face it, this is Madison, and you're not) or that you're a vampire (which would be cool, but again, you're not).

Plus, we should have better public transportation and if we did you wouldn't irritate me so much because we'd all be zooming around on the lightrail but we don't probably because jerks like you won't vote for it. You want your stupid could-have-been-tax-money in cash because you want a vanity plate.

One last thing:  what kind of gas mileage do you get in town?


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