Friday, December 3, 2010

Mirror, Mirror

I caught Uli, playing with a baby doll, talking to her reflection in a mirror.

Uli: Sing?
Mirror Uli: Yes [nodding emphatically]
Uli: ABCs! [singing] A, B, C, D...
Mirror Uli: [shaking her head] No, no ABCs.
Uli: Okay. Okay. Bitsy. (i.e. Itsy Bitsy Spider)
Mirror Uli: Yes! [pause] No. [head shake] ABCs.
Uli: Okay. [singing] A, B, C, D... [etc. Gets a little shaky in the middle there and ends with a hearty Y.]
Mirror Uli: Baby [holds the baby up to the mirror]. Milk, baby.
Uli: [lifting her shirt to breastfeed the doll] Yes, baby milk. Rock baby.
Mirror Uli: Fall down.
Uli: Shhh, baby. Rock. Milk.
Mirror Uli: [nodding] Milk. Hug.
Uli: Baby "Dear One" [hugs]
Mirror Uli: Always.

I love this peek into her head, so sweet. But it's reminded me of my responsibilities. Those words she says? She learned them from me and her father. The songs? We sing them with her. The breastfeeding? She and I still share that. The "Dear One" reference? I call her that (and she's started replying, "Always" when I do. It makes my heart warm). 

This life we're living together is molding her, guiding her understanding of how the world works. And I'm thrilled that so far she's focusing on the happy singing and hugs. But the other times... those when I'm frustrated and raise my voice, or the moments when I tell her "Not now"... those are in her head too, I know.

I know that Super Mom is an unatainable job title, but I sure do hope that in these future years I see more of her rehearsing cuddles and nursing her dollies than I observing dolls in the corner or being told to sit quietly. It's an awesome thing, this parenthood. Awesome, and sometimes overwhelming and exciting, both.


Anonymous December 3, 2010 at 2:56 PM  

Nice to read about Uli and the way you narrated it. I know it's really a blesssing to be a mom and watch our kids grow everyday. They learn things from us and repeat it in their own style. That's really awesome. I can't beleive how fast our kids are growing. Breastfeeding our kids is another wonderful experience. Even if I'm ready to wean Sajin wants to wean only when he goes to school. LOL! When Isay no to milk then he will ask "only for 2 minutes" which makes my heart melt.

Malliga December 3, 2010 at 2:56 PM  

The above message from Malliga ( Sajin's mom)

Tara December 4, 2010 at 9:41 PM  

Oh how incredible sweet. It's amazing how these moments can teach us about ourselves. Not long ago I heard B tell her doll "Just one more minute" and it broke my heart. I often say that and it's always longer than one minute, made me try harder not to delay her needs whatever they may be.

Thomasin December 6, 2010 at 11:48 AM  

Malliga ~ Hi! Yes, Uli isn't so sure she wants to wean either. But we're working on introducing the idea gently. Once we get potty training under control, maybe we'll talk about it more, but until then...

Tara ~ I do find myself thinking about my own actions/words more often now that I have in the past. These little ones are sponges! Still, I'm sure their play is overwhelmingly positive. And we'll keep it that way (I hope/strive for it, anyway!). :-)

Vanessa December 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM  

I'm in the parenthood "scares the shit out of me" phase myself. Such awesome responsibility. I read something from Maya Angelou recently It was written to her mom from a child's point of view; something like "You are my world. I didn't realize I was just a part of yours." That really brings the awesome responsibility in plain view.

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